By Miss Spider - courtesy of gothic-life.com

So my grandmother died in January... and at 7am while I was pacing my apartment, on hold with the airlines, and packing (never pack while on the phone... you don't realize what you're packing and you misplace things. I ran out of clean clothes halfway through the trip!), in the middle of tears and stuttering the details to the airline employee, this absurd thought passed through my mind: "It's a good thing I'm goth, I have an entire closet of black velvet!"

If that isn't the most ridiculous rationalization... but it did distract me from my grief and make me smile briefly... and I did. I wore black velvet from head to toe for all 3 services, as well as the travel, packing of my grandmother's apartment, family dinners, etc. My mother started in on my hair color at the baggage claim and I just wasn't ready to deal with her yuppie judgements on my lifestyle, so I flipped up my hair and showed her the new tattoo on the back of my neck. That pretty much ended discussions on my appearance for two days.

After spending ten days in Florida and Tennessee acting alternately like a mature grown up woman, and being treated like the 5 yr old all my family remembers, I started wondering about how goths deal with death. In a way, we are far more accepting of it, and prepared for it. We read Byron and Shelley and Baudelaire and discuss the beauty and fragility of life, as emphasized by death. We live life to the fullest, because we know and accept that death can come at any time, in any way, so we want to take advantage of what time we have. And yet I still cry for my grandfather who died two years ago. In Tennessee I sat on his grave for the first time since the funeral, and talked to him. One of my greatest griefs is that even though he loved me, he also saw me as the black sheep of the family. He died before my career finally took off and my family was forced to accept me as a responsible adult, regardless of how I chose to dress. How have you dealt with deaths to people close to you?

Valentine's Day is coming and love is in the air. Couples are pairing off, new relationships are blooming, good things seem to be happening! Is this because Valentine's is being advertised on every commercial, in every grocery store, even on billboards for the new horror movie, therefore people are thinking of romance? Or is it spring is here, the skies are blue, the mountains look beautiful, and therefore people are thinking of romance? So go browse the ads and see if you find anyone that appeals to you! Voltaire has some great email cards for new loves, on-going loves, and anti-valentine's day. ;p

A friend was complaining to me today about the prices for flowers delivered to his girlfriend's workplace. I suggested he donate money to a good cause in her name, and send her a card telling her what he did. After a couple minutes of him totally freaking and telling me she'd kill him because she couldn't show off to her co-workers, he calmed down and said maybe she'd be happy if he did both.

I'm not suggesting that for everyone... but for peoplee who care about animals (ie all the soft-hearted schmucks like me), the Escondido Humane Society was damaged in the San Diego fires last month. Only a third of the animals were rescued, and they desperately need donations to pay for the medical expenses of those animals, as well as to rebuild the building itself.

I'd like to believe that most goth girls are above crass commercialism, and would actually appreciate a gesture like this. Flowers at the workplace are always nice, but if my boyfriend did this, I'd run around work telling everyone how wonderful he was!

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